My heart feels hardened

Hi,

i heard the gospel and accepted it, prayed the sinners prayer and honestly felt changed: Sometimes i just had thoughts come to mind (to remove certain items from my house; trash them) and did so, they felt like orders rather than my own thoughts.



For weeks i felt great, and i completely understand the salvation plan. Especially recently however, i found myself reverting but most importantly have sparks of bad thoughts come to mind.



Sometimes i catch myself thinking "what if my past sins were too bad", "isnt hell too much of a punishment for the unsaved" or "what if it isnt real" even though i genuinely felt overcome by the spirit.



I prayed to God to be more like a child in my belief on Jesus, and to take up more space in my heart, yet these thoughts, even if for mere seconds before i shake them off, sometimes come.



I do understand that Jesus Christ alone paid the price for my sin, that i could only pay for mine by going to hell, yet these thoughts creep in.



Is my heart just that hardened or is it normal? Im not reprobate, am i?


Please help.



Thanks!



I didn't find the right solution from the Internet.



References:

christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/161955-my-heart-feels-hardened.html

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